Time to post my favorite Silicon Valley clip

Yes I am dad

I’m a simple man.

I play Civ VI.

As Victoria (Age of Empire)

Continents and islands map.

I’m not here for surprises.

My kids go on Roblox with their friends to find and report pedos

As someone who played the hell out of the original, I don’t think a big game studio could do the story justice which is why they’re making it a PvP extraction shooter.

The AI Leela from the original was one of my first crushes, which says a lot about me and the game.

Does getting health care mean leaving your basement?

If so, young men aren’t doing it.

Hell, I leave my basement frequently and don’t want to get health care because I’m sure it will bankrupt me.

If someone callled me an ambulance I’d fight them because I don’t have ambulance money.

The fact that it ran on a Macintosh meant I could play it on the school computers during study hall.

No idea. I never liked Doom or Wolfenstein because it was just mindless violence, which gets old quick.

But Marathon had a universe and a story and characters and puzzles AND mindless violence.

Maybe they just let the marketing folks determine what was popular and mimicked that.

Original Marathon was really great. While you’re waiting for BUNGIE to drop this turd you should play the open source remake Aleph One.

It’s available on Steam for free as Classic Marathon.

I’ve got like 2k hours into KSP and still barely understand the game, just how to use Mechjeb

I think it’s because a game with challenging puzzles and compelling story takes work and talent and a game that says “collect 20 widgets and get back to the extraction point” can be churned out like cheap hot dogs by overworked devs.

That makes even less sense to me. Nothing in the original game is about collecting resources or leaving the ship

I was hoping it was gonna be a clever, fun story shooter like the original. But it just sounds like a reskinned Helldivers with no connection to the original besides the name.

Luckily classic Marathon is available on Steam for free.

Well now I’m not buying it.

Why did they have to copy anything?!

BUNGIE LITERALLY ALREADY MADE MARATHON

Also the implication that games are niche things for children and not “traditional media”

Back in the 90s my friend and I would play Descent against each other via modem. I had a 100Mhz processor, he had a 66Mhz processor. If I came in blasting with a rapid fire weapon his machine couldn’t render fast enough and he’d get blown up.

I played Drug Wars on my TI-89 almost 25 years ago which sounds like the same game but with better graphics.

Civilization and Factorio are also pretty addicting

That is a bit harder than “click here to download” on the front page.

True, but I doubt they’d put the effort into making it easy for someone to download it in the message.

Users will also be given the option of downloading their data from the app, sources familiar with the plan told the outlet.

That’s nice of them. I bet Facebook and Twitter wouldn’t do that.

I’ve got an old Mac and use a cloud gaming PC to play games. It’s like $50 a month and works great when you’re near the data center.

Plus my laptop doesn’t get really hot while playing games and the battery lasts a lot longer. All while getting 4k 60fps gaming with ray tracing.

He can submit a complaint to the complaints department by phone between 10am and 4pm mountain time Tuesdays and thursdays. Expected response is 2-5 business months.

Sometimes watching someone play a game is more fun than playing the game. Markiplier shrieking his way through Subnautica was fucking hilarious. And I have a friend who doesn’t play games but who watched an entire playthrough of Detroit: Become Human because they loved the story.

Perhaps?

“My words are backed by NUCLEAR WEAPONS!”

I bet the beancounters don’t like keeping excess capacity ready to go

Simple solution: Just lend people games that aren’t any fun

And it’s not just happening in the gaming industry. Across the board the people who do the actual work are beholden to massive managerial structures that add huge costs and zero value, all to look like they’re doing something important.

Abubakar Salim played one of the greatest dads in all of sci fi on Raised by Wolves

This sounds like the CSS @media print with extra steps

“To honor we call you not press you like slaves”

I dunno, I’d eat Costco hot dogs all day every day.

Which means I wouldn’t be buying new games, which means game makers don’t have a market, which means no more new games.

I’ve got probably 9,000 hours on different variants of the Civ franchise over my lifetime, assuming I played Civ V and VI the same amount as the other four. I’ve got 1,600 hours in Factorio and probably the same amount in KSP.

My point being that some of us kinda do want the same shit over and over.

You know what? I’m gonna left even harder.

I’m okay with that, actually. Start with teaching kids in preschool that if they find a gun they shouldn’t touch it and should tell an adult, impressing upon kids the danger of guns, and finally ending with marksmanship training.

Then cut the military budget by 90%.

If we’re gonna have a rifle behind every blade of grass they should be crack shots.

Gee it’s almost like we should make sure folks know about how to handle firearms without relying on their own curiosity

Users find the weirdest bugs. Figuring out what happened makes me feel like Sherlock Holmes.