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Cake day: Jul 04, 2023

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You can actually shoot them in this one, but I’d recommend throwing at least a little bit of piss and shit first. Manners cost nothing.



Yes, that’s why they’re at home all day, and ignoring all the well paid jobs out there with free healthcare that I’m sure they’d get if they just went door to door with a résumé like these ghouls pretend they did in the 1950s.


I got it cheaper during an Epic Store sale, but not by much.

Grab it anyway and the DLC, because it’s amazing. And listen when it tells you to play with a controller. Really. So many people bounce off it because they can’t fly the ship. Mouse and keyboard really is not the way.


Guardians of the Galaxy was surprisingly good. More so than the movies, the game gives all the characters their due time.

Just make sure to stop when people speak, otherwise you’ll go past the invisible point that makes them stop and then you’ll miss out on the dialogue.

Could have taken some notes from God of War there.


I don’t get how Apple has to open their shit up (although they’re certainly dragging their heels over it and sulking like a toddler) but Sony, MS and Nintendo don’t.


By the time you finish the game, whatever you’ve seen so far will seem like the most normal thing in the world.

Definitely a lot of standard Kojima gameplay in there, among the apocalyptic Deliveroo simulator and bonkers 4th wall breaking.


The Play Store works exactly as designed.

It takes a search term, turns it into a list of completely random apps sorted by whatever makes Google the most money in in app payments and adverts, and then shows it to you.

What more did you want from a store run by the world’s biggest advertising company?


They’re polished, but nearly all of them are too safe.

The ones that subvert things a little are always best for me, and these always get mixed reactions from people who went in with a set idea of what they wanted from it.

Red Dead Redemption 2 being a slow paced wild west simulator rather than Grand Theft Horse is a prime example. It didn’t play by safety and doing popular things. It did what they wanted it to be, and it’s all the better for it.


It is mental, but I also kind of wish he’d hire somebody else to write dialogue for him.

And maybe somebody to check all the women characters, and make sure he’s not coming across as being a little bit odd.


And to add to that, it also gives you the tools for discovery. It’s not just “Ubisoft, but they hide the icons”.

The shrine detector (which can become an anything detector), the ability to look through binoculars or whatever it is and stamp a limited number of visible waypoints onto the map. Tears of the Kingdom gives you a slightly obscure ability to highlight all the cave entrances nearby, which you can then try to mark up and see if you’ve been there.

Other games have started trying to do some of this, but I think a lot of it is added late on in development and doesn’t really work well. Like Jedi Survivor gives you the ability to mark things with icons, but what for? You can’t see the markers when you’re walking around. There’s not really much to discover from a distance, and it’s pretty far from being a vast open world.

Is it perfect? No. The last few shrines are often a complete ball-ache to find, although a lot of them are just a generic fight and they’re pretty optional, it feels like you should do them.

Is it better than a world as a menu screen as offered by Ubisoft and those that copy them? Yes.

I think in general a lot of developers should take a long look at what they’re actually trying to make before going with the open world approach. It’s getting tired, and they’re mostly doing it badly.


But instead of playing the map as a menu screen, you actually play in the world and discover things.

That was the crucial difference for me.


Bullshitted pixels per second seem to be the new currency.

It may look smooth in videos, but 30fps upframed(?) to 120fps will still feel like a 30fps game.

Modern TVs do the same shit, and it both looks and feels like ass. And not good ass.


Runs FFXIV at 1440p.

Runs HL Alyx on my Rift.

Runs everything prior to this gen.

If I need to run a more modern game, I’ll use my PS5.


I really liked the puzzle elements, but the combat was way too hard in places. I didn’t feel bad about turning that down.


Still on a 1060 over here.

Sure, I may have to limit FFXIV to 30fps in summer to stop it crashing, but it still runs.


I was enjoying right up to the point where I stopped making progress and started getting frustrated at the random aspects of it. Even some of the self contained puzzles were taking a bit of trial and error.

The last puzzles are likely going to take a lot more hours than I’m willing to give it, not because they’re hard but because they require the stars to align before it’ll let you even try them. I stopped playing a while ago now, and I haven’t felt the urge to go back.


Yeah, it was. Trying to play, and it keeps stopping you with multiple full screens of text.

I don’t think they understand the concept of tutorials tbh.


I can tell you what the worst tutorial is.

It’s Monster Hunter World.


I’d say it’ll backfire when people can’t play those odd Xbox games that for some reason never came to PC, but there’s so few people using Xboxes anyway, I doubt it’s going to matter. They’ve well and truly dropped the ball since the Xbox 360, and don’t really show any signs of being interested in picking it up again.

Everything just points to them making enough money from everything else to not really care. This is as token an effort as it’s possible to make in the handheld space.



I’m not the guy that guy replied to.

Just a random guy who thinks Gabe can put his foot down with these publishers. They already all tried going without Steam and they came crawling back.


If somebody put strychnine in the guacamole, I’d expect Walmart to remove it from the shelves and offer refunds to anyone that bought it.

If somebody distributed malware through Steam, I’d expect them to stop it also.

Not that there is currently malware in Borderlands 2, but their EULA says they could put it there if they wanted, and there’s nothing you could do about it.

As usual, money is the best message. So if they do put it into a game you’ve paid for, request a refund. If Valve starts losing money, they will change their rules.


You’re right that it’s not Valve they’re mad at, buuuuut…

They could regulate that no games they sell can have rootkits and delist the ones that do, as well as offer refunds if a rootkit is patched in in the future. They have lots of rules already, and I don’t think that would be a bad one.


Yoku’s Island Express has more than that but I don’t see it mentioned much so I’ll recommend it anyway.


Phantom Liberty is where Cyberpunk becomes a masterpiece.


I hope that if this game is open world then the story at least matches it, unlike the first one.

There were just so many pointless distractions, and hardly any of them lead to anything interesting.



On GamePass though, isn’t it? Only people actually buying would be on PS5 and the neversub gang.


If your game requires a server for single player content, I ain’t buying it.

I’m not paying full price and getting a rental.



Yeah, because they were too cheap before. Unsustainable really.

I would willingly sell my house and all it’s contents for the glorious bullshitted pixels per second count that nVidia GPUs provide.



@[email protected]

I think the main issue people have is that they got Peter Molyneux’d on it. Which is fair enough, and why I don’t really read much about games before I play them.

I’m glad I held off until PL came out, because it looks like the 2.0 update fixed a lot of things that would irritate me, like gear and levelling blocking off missions. It does rob you of a sense of progression, but I’ll trust their decision to drop that.

There’s enough RPG elements to get in the way of it being a shooter, but not enough to actually satisfy anybody who wanted a full blown RPG. Decisions especially are very binary and I gave up on the platinum trophy after seeing I’d have to save a guy I let die about 60 hours of gameplay ago, in a save long since overridden.

I guess I’ve been around the block enough times to filter out any claims of amazing AI and day/night cycles. We’ve heard those claims before with Fable and Oblivion, and all it really meant is “the shops shut at night”. And here it didn’t even do that, at least beyond a handful of locations where you had to press a button to wait until they opened before you could do the quest inside.

I think I’ve had a lot better experience going into this late and blind.

Patches mean we’re no longer in the days of bad games being bad forever, but they’re certainly remembered that way.


I’m not sure what most people were expecting but I finally got around to playing the GOTY edition recently.

I got a game with great characters, writing and story, slightly average gameplay, all shackled to a bizarre open world that completely destroys any pacing and urgency. It really did not need all those fixers and like 150 police mini missions, which detract from it all in a major way.

Having also played Witcher 3, that’s kind of what I was expecting, I guess. I genuinely think CDPR should abandon their open world ideas, because they’re excellent at story telling, but really bad at filler bullshit.

Phantom Liberty ups the package to a flawed masterpiece.



As long as Fortnite prints money, Tim gets to cosplay as a consumer crusader.

I think both Steam and Epic will let you generate codes to sell your game yourself, but this will attract a shit load of fraudulent credit card sales, and it’s pretty much not worth doing.


Yeah, there’s probably a fair bit of overlap between GamePass and PSN Premium games.

I suspect to try and push their own products, we’ll be entering an age where games are $80, and almost never go on sale, purely to make their own subscription services seem better value. And then they’ll crank the price of those as well.


EA Play is on PS5.

Assuming MS exit the console market, I don’t see why Sony wouldn’t allow it (as long as they get their pound of flesh from every sale of it). They’d basically just be another publisher.


A 2TB Xbox Series X now costs more than a PS5 Pro (in the US at least).

That is mental. Xbox hardware division must be bleeding money hand over fist. I honestly doubt they’ll do another generation, and stick to trying to monetise GamePass through PC and streaming. Maybe you’ll even see GamePass for PS6 since they own so many studios now.