Part of it is just leveling up your citadel. Some is the game dripfeeds new systems and buildings to you that make things more complicated but also help with happiness. A lot of it is just learning what it takes to keep people happy.
Keep playing on difficulties that feel manageable, and when it starts to feel like you can handle it, then bump up the difficulty then.
I wouldn’t mind but I also maybe wouldn’t use it. Even though I’m with you. Boys fights are fine set pieces but not really my favorite part most the time. I’ve had ribs of fun with with ring and DS3, but what I like about then is the setting, exploration, and tension moving from bonfire to bonfire.
I’m stubborn though and would have a hard time convincing myself that it’s ok to decrease the difficulty and not cheating/missing out on the intended game.
With mods. It’s not hard to mod on pc, mind you, but the vanilla experience is definitely less.