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Hmm, I suppose the big difference between Fedora and Kubuntu is that Fedora is a fixed point release distro (similar to rolling release but less frequent) that applies updates only on restart, so it’s possible that it needs a moment to ensure that everything is compatible.
It’s certainly a weird choice to kidnap your desktop, so I don’t blame you for being annoyed. If that’s causing this, then you might want to try a stable release distro. This is part of why I like Debian, because it doesn’t change very quickly and updates are unlikely to need special care to ensure stability. Debian also doesn’t have the issue you’re talking about, it updates right away in the background.
Kubuntu is Ubuntu-based (duh) so if you like how it behaves, you could try Debian (which Ubuntu is based on) or try another flavour of Ubuntu. Pop!_OS and Zorin are both Ubuntu-based and should definitely be on DistroSea.
Thanks. That seems like a good jumping off point.