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Cake day: May 07, 2024

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Shredder never even has defined plans. Now granted, I was a kid in the 80s. If the new series is different, I don’t know. I didn’t even see the micheal bay movies. I saw the original cartoon, the first 3 movies, and the “coming out of our shell” tour.

Shredder always just kind of showed up, and maybe robbed a jewelry store. Or kidnapped April and that skinny news reporter guy.

There never seemed to be a plan. It was always just vague “do crime and evil shit…”

Then they introduced the mafia, who for some reason just liked tickling everybodies feet.





I’m sorry…can we take a minute here to point out that the head of XBOX is named “Matt Booty”? No? Just me?





Well see thats your problem. Ditch cobra and join J.I JOOOOEEEEEE!!!

Then you can be paid under minimum wage to risk your life fighting in unjust wars, only to find your government abandons you and any help you were promised for injuries or complications to your daily lifestyle as a result of your time in the service.

See? 'MURICA!



The closest thing they had to internet explorer dominance is saying that it was manditory to be installed in every OS. The OS had market dominance, and you couldn’t uninstall internet explorer.

But actual usage? Everybody used Netscape.


I last checked in December. At that time Linux had an all time high usage rate of 5.6%. For a platform that’s existed since the early 90s, 5.6% is the highest they’d ever achieved.

So I wouldn’t exactly say microsoft EVER pissed it away. They still have, and always have had, dominant market share of users. And they do so by charging hundreds of dollars as opposed to a free alternative.


“Play this clickbait garbage game, you stupid idiot!”

I can tell you’ve worked in marketing. That would be a GREAT slogan!


If you can’t use the force to get fullscreen, are you even really a jedi?


Never heard of either of these projects.

Time is the only thing that will be a minecraft killer.

40 years ago, Super mario bros was the most impressive most popular game ever. Now, today, it still exists, but would you even BEGIN to play Super Mario Wonder in the same catagory of pop culture influence as Super Mario Bros 3?

There will come a day when minecrafts users become too old to care. But it won’t be because another game does it better.

Improvements don’t kill a culture. Apathy kills culture. Minecraft is less of a game and more of an entry in pop culture.


There was a point in the 1980s where PC games fully allowed and encouraged you to copy your games for backup purposes. They even had some companies who gave detailed steps explaining how.

What ended up happening is you owned a PC, your buddy owned a PC. You made two backups of the game. One for you, and one for your buddy. Now between the two of you, you buy half the games, because you buy one, your buddy buys a different one. And now you both have two games.

Now multiply that by however many friends you knew who owned PCs. You might buy 1 game, but own 15 games.

By the 90s, PC game makers did a 180, and were now trying to prevent archiving of their games, but it was too late. Laws had been written to allow for backup of personal data. Yes, you WERE breaking the law by giving your buddy the backup, but they couldn’t prevent you from creating the backup.

And in a pre-internet world, how would they ever even know you made a backup?





How is it different than Lutris?


…part of me wants to know the middle name. Part of me wonders if that might be doxxing him at that point.

Because middle names are weird, but with a name like Gaylord, he doesn’t have much to risk.

He might be like “Call me Olive!”

And it’s somehow better than being Gaylord in the 80s/90s.

I think I’d just create a persona. Thats what a kid at my school did. His name was Adam, but he was like “Call me, The Jew!”

Not “Jew”, not “The Jew Kid” he specifically called himself “The Jew”. Pro wrestling was popular, and it was like how there was “The Rock”. Except he was “The Jew”.

Then one kid thought it would be funny to come in with a red armband with swastika on it. He asked The Jew if he thought it was funny. And The Jew said no…with his fist. Over and over and over and over. Usually school fights had an honor to them. Kid falls down, you won the fight. You walk away. Anyone tried contining the fight on a downed opponent, and the whole crowd would step in. They’d end the fight for you, and it wouldn’t be good for you.

That didn’t happen here. This kid went down, and The Jew just kept punching him. Over and over and over. For what seemed like forever. Nobody stepped in. Usually during fights, the crowd was rowdy. It was exciting. This was dead silent.

In normal times, The Jew was the most chill laid back easy to get along with guy. It’s 20+ years since I saw him last, and I still remember him and refer to him as that. By his request. So you can kind of get an idea of how he didn’t let things get to him. No ego. Just a good kid really.

When he saw that swastika, he just went off. And everybody had the same silent collective thought. Not to step in, and when teachers get here, we all stand behind The Jew. And we all did. Literally 30 kids all got detention for a month, because not one of us ratted out who beat the fuck out of gary. Eventually the teachers pieced together what happened, when gary came out of the hospital and was able to talk again. We still had to serve detention. Even after they “knew”, we still didn’t talk.

And now, I’ve gotten so sidetracked that I don’t even remember the point of this story. Other than to say fuck nazis. Fuck gary. And fuck anyone who owns a swastika armband. Gary had it coming.


Holy shit…being named “Gaylord” in the 80s/90s as a kid?

Fuck.

R.I.P. Gaylord.

May your bullying been short and merciful.


I think it’s that the world has changed into having fractured multiple cultures.

In the 80s/90s being gay was considered by general society to be an insult. If you’re under 25, the concept of something being negative being called “gay” as the standard insult just sounds made up.

But people who are 40 years old may remember being in school, and you got a D on a quiz. Your buddy might say “You got a D? That’s gay.”

Had nothing to do with actual homosexuality. It’s just that’s what society was. Being gay wasn’t accepted, and it was cool and trendy to hate on gays to the point that it wasn’t questioned if you called anything bad “gay”.

It’s impossible to place an exact date on when the culture changed, because it likely changed at different times for different regions. I assume California was the first to change.

I first noticed the shift in pop culture around 2003. There was a russian pop singer duo/band called tatu. Terrible music, but they kissed in their one hit wonder music video.

The reactions I saw on MTV were people saying they were brave for being openly gay. Whereas if it would have happened in the 80s, I’m sure they’d have gotten death threats.

And I STILL see people who don’t accept gay people.

So society is now fractured on what popular belief is. Now it’s more like several circles, who all have different views. As opposed to one giant unified viewpoint, with those not conforming left on the outside in the underground.

Because that’s just one topic. There’s other people who are ok with gay people, but not ok with trans. So thats another circle. Now imagine every single viewpoint which has a counter viewpoint.

Whereas in the 80s, something like 92% of the vote went towards reagan, and everybody conformed to the preapproved normal viewpoints. We don’t do that anymore. We each find our own meaning of normal.

Now me personally, I don’t find giving a nazi salute to be normal. But you’ll still find herds of people defending musk. You’ll also find people like me who say fuck musk, and fuck any self identifying nazi. So, another example of how different people are now in different circles.


Would a commercial with Jesus on the cross saying he is thirsty and having a Roman Soldier pass him an ice cold Coca Cola be better?

Yes. PLEASE put this on the air. I am begging someone to make this a reality. Also, full disclosure, I do enjoy watching the world burn over stupid shit. Christians losing their shit over THAT commercial would be comically delightful.


It’s just like Duke always said…

Looks like I don’t have time to play with myself…


By indicating that root access is required to play the game, and that you agree to this by agreeing to the TOS. Without agreeing, you can’t play the game.


It also requires root level access and is listed as such in their TOS.


I remember when I’d play goldeneye on N64.

Granted the game hasn’t aged well, but for the time, it was the best game ever.

So much so that now, whenI see a new 007 game announced, I get a momentary feeling of “OH SHIT!” until I remember it’s not going to be as fun as being 14, staying up all night in the summer, eating lays potato chips, drinking coke, dragging your balls across the losers face and laughing at him as everybody else holds him down, watching WWF Raw live, and then WCW Nitro on VHS recorded hours before, playing the improv one word game that all stoners play instinctively, recording vhs game boy camera movies. The summer of 1997 and 1998 was magical.

For a brief moment, I get nostolgia anytime I see a new 007 game. Then I instantly remember it’ll never live up to those days of my youth, now in my 40s.

Hey. Anyone else have grey hair and back pain?


…no.

No no no no!!!

Stop making me feel old, sir! Undertale is one of those “new” games. Like breath of the wild. And the Switch.


Ok. You leave questions on the board. You list Mario Party…but which one?

And you list Mario Kart…BUT WHICH ONE???

Careful. These questions have obviously right, and obviously wrong answers. This is the kind of serious business that could get you SHOT!


Is this the same Rally series as Top Gear Rally on N64? I loved that game.



I mean…do we want to tear it down?

Apple is apple. They don’t make false claims about how walled off they are.

Android is android. And for people who want to strip out all the google stuff, you can. And you can use F-Droid exclusively.

But look at the typical apple user. Do you think they’re going to be happy without the apple experience?

Some things are for you, other things are NOT for you. Letting both exist is an option.


I mean…of all the things to hate on AI for, this isn’t one. You don’t WANT an immitation voice. You want James Earl Jones. But he’s dead. AI is the best outcome possible.


ITT: Epic is awful, Steam is great!

Me: Is GOG a joke to you people???


Guys! This guy just shared his password!!! It’s “/shrug”


comforts you

Hey, it’s ok buddy. It’s alright to have bad opinions sometimes…doesn’t make you a bad person.




Oh I’m sure tarrifs will bring the price up to $400 and your left testicle.


Guys!!! (And gals!!!) Double Dragon Gaiden Rise of the Dragon is a great game!!!
So this may be a very very niche use case...... But I have an 8bitdo Switch arcade stick. And I just bought this game yesterday. Now, I've only played it in handheld mode, but I cannot WAIT to get home, and play it with my arcade stick. It's use of in game currency to advance yourself really replicates the spirit of quarter draining. $1000 in game currency = a 1-up. There's upgrades though. If you buy upgrades with your cash, all further runs will be a bit easier. Or you can unlock characters which have different abilities. There seems to be just 4 stages, but I'm sure that'll unlock more stages as I beat all 4. I only did a quick pickup and play. Beat the 1st stage, died in the second one. But if I'd have had $3,000 I could have traded in for 3 tokens. I only had $750. I know. I suck. But I was just playing casually on the joycons. When I get home, it's time to get down to serious business! My point is, this game gave me the retro vibes of a arcade beat em up, while still maintaining the modern approach to game design. And still taking the time really think about how to handle unlockables. It's not just "reach the end of the stage, and beat the boss". There's a whole bunch of unlockables, and each one takes tokens to unlock. So you have to earn the money, and then decide if you're going to cash out, and delete your save, which gives you the tokens for unlockables? Or are you going to keep going, get MORE cash as you play, and risk using your cash on 1-ups? I'm just starting, but this looks like a meaty advanture. I wish I were able to play this back in my drinking days.
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We all need Seaman back in our lives!
Does anyone remember Seaman? That game was great! Why are you giggling? I'm just talking about Seaman! Why does everybody giggle when I say I want to play with Seaman??? Oh, right. Some of you may be younger and have no idea what I'm talking about. Seaman is a game that was released on Dreamcast. It's a game where you talk to a fish. No, I'm NOT joking. It came with a microphone. There was a fish, with a humans head. You talked to a fish. And usually it would insult you. It was narriated by Lenard Nemoy. No, seriously. I'm NOT joking about any of this. That's real. That happened. When I was 16, I used to get high, and talk to a fish with Lenard Nemoy. Though, to be fair, he was only on the title screen as far as I remember. He would insult you for not having a life if you played too often. I once played for 30 minutes, saved, and turned off the Dreamcast. Then my friend came over, and was like "Why is there a microphone on your controller?" and I was like "You wanna talk to a fish?" and he was like "Dude.....I know you're high.....but what the fuck ARE you smoking right now?" And then we turned the game on, and Lenard Nemoy would always give updates about the tank enclosure since you last visited. But he also insults you for playing too much. It had only been a few minutes since I last played, and he said "It's nice to have you back so.......*soon*. If one didn't know better, one might think you're a bit obsessed. It is not necessary to tend to Seaman so often. That's not to say we don't enjoy having your company, but you need not revolve your life around a fish." Even in it's day it was not well known, or understood. It was a batshit insane concept, executed with crazy core concept ideas as the foundation, and then they just said "Who can we get as a voice actor for the title screen who will be taken seriously in the sci-fi genre, but also needs some money right now?" and there was Lenard Nemoy. STOP DOUBTING ME!!! I'M SERIOUS!!! THIS GAME WAS REAL!!!! And we need it back. I just put a dreamcast emulator on my phone, and was in the break room at work. Just as I pressed the talk button, I said "Hello Seaman" as someone walked into the breakroom. He looked over at me like "......what did he say?" and then he hears my phone say "Yeah.....hello......" in a sarcastic tone. And I pressed the button again and said "Tell me a story, Seaman" and then he hears my phone say "What?" And I did it again. And Seaman said "No. I'm mad at you right now". And I said "Why are you mad, Seaman?" and he flug his poo at me. Oh, did I forget to mention that Seaman is ABSOLUTELY a dick? Yeah, he's a total asshole, but that's what makes it funny. He eventually starts asking you questions about your life, and keeping a log of your answers. And then he'll get to know you based on your answers. He'll ask you if you have a girlfriend. If you say no, he'll say "Well, there's plenty of fish in the sea.....or something like that. Hey, don't look at ME that way! I'm not lonely enough to date YOU! *sigh* Though, I suppose I could do worse. You DO take pretty good care of me." We all have a device in our pockets right now that has a microphone, and we can all have fun in public getting weird looks. WE NEED A NEW SEAMAN GAME!!! Preferably as an app on our phones, but I'll take console/pc ports. Whatever gets me talking to a fish.
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You know what would be cool? If all those (job name) simulator games could all be joined.
So I'm playing Supermarket simulator. And if you notice TCG Simulator looks VERY similar. That's because it uses the same assets. It looks like it's actually the same shop location, on the same street. But in one game, it's a supermarket, and in another game, it's a card game similator. But if you look, the neighborhood outside of your walls of your shop all looks very dead. Like you're in a movie set, where the rest of the town is actually just wooden building backdrops. So I figure, what if each "shop" could be a real shop? You play online, and when you log on, your shop has an individual save data. It gets played on a server, and each server has a different set of shops. So if you're a retro game shop, you're playing in the lot of land number 14. So when you log on, you're looking for a server that doesn't have anyone playing on land lot 14. That's the retro game shop. When you log on, you can't have infinate time, since time needs to always be moving for everybody else at the same pace......but time also doesn't stop at 9pm, and the deliveries don't stop either. So at 9pm-8am, you restock your shelves. You order backstock for your storage room. And the shop right next to your retro games shop? Maybe that's the supermarket. That's land plot 13. And you can go into the supermarket, and you can buy things. Just like real life people can come into your retro games shop and buy things. There's also NPCs obviously, who would be the bulk of the customers. But the neighborhood would actually look busy, and alive rather than one guy hanging out on a movie set. And so, you could play supermarket simulator, and someone else could play TCG simulator, and someone else could play gas station simulator, and someone else could play retro games shop simulator, and when you you play online, you're all on the same server, on the same street, and there could be an actual economy. Customers come in, spend their money on you, you spend some of your money at the gas station. There could be a wholesale simulator, where you play the shop the other shops are ordering from on the market. So like when you order furnature, or things to stock your shop, they have to be in stock at the wholesale simulator. Which means the guy who plays that role, affects ALL the stores on the server. Because if he just lets shit go out of stock, you use the competitor, which is automated, and always in stock, but at higher prices.
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