Poncle also says adapting Vampire Survivors "requires good ideas, creativity, and that quirky knowledge of the game, that is a very difficult triplet to get 100% right."
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Here’s my try: Anthology movie. Each one fights larger and larger hordes of enemies while trying to find loot and spells.
Meanwhile death does the narration and the whole time waxes on about mortality.
No vampires ever appear on screen.