“Elon, deep down you will always be cringe.”
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There are rumors going around from people in his life that he underwent a failed penis enhancement surgery. A lot of people are joking that his dick is mangled or missing but in reality he probably just cannot maintain a natural or medicinal erection due to damage to the blood vessels. He has the money and resources to get a penile implant installed which is basically a fluid sac that fills up with the touch of a sub-dermal button to give someone an erection. He’s got a balloon animal cyborg dick basically. More than likely this makes him completely incapable of impregnating a woman (no muscles to ejaculate sperm with) which is why all of his children are IVF

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He also does it to ensure all his kids are XY because he’s a raging sexist, which explains why he’s such a shitheel to Vivian.

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